Date: Wed Jul 26, 2000 4:23pm

I'm a 22 year old student. My studies had gone very well and university
life was generally successful in every respect. However, I had had a few
problems and felt tired and had alot of stress. My doctor diagnosed me with
depression after a very brief consultation, and suggested i take prozac
Looking back now, i did suffer from depression, but i think my problems
would have resolved with time, and it was nothing compared to what the
SSRI's induced. After being told that prozac has very few side-effects, i
agreed to try it.
The reaction started very soon after the first dose....within 48 hours i
felt the usual nausea, headache, dizziness. Within a few days, i suddenly
felt extremely anxious and a worsenning of depression....this developed
rapidly into a depression deeper than i had ever experienced before. I felt
extremely confused and for no reason, believed everyone to be against me.
This sudden worsenning of mood was accompanied by strange physical symptoms;
my skin was itching, my mucsles were twitching, i was shaking violently, and
felt a terrible pressure behind my eyes....everything looked brighter and my
thoughts were racing. I was put on another SSRI a few days later after a
emergency doctor had to be called...... I  had felt a sudden panic worse
than anything i had ever experienced, i felt strong impulses to do things
that i didn't want to do and the fear was extreme. I was so afraid of myself
and really thought that i'd loose control .The doctors persuaded me that i
should stay on the medication for longer and that the symptoms i was
experiencing were a worsenning of my depression.  Over the following three
months the doctors prescribed another two SSRI's.. There were a couple weeks
when i believed the medication to be finally working....i felt really
confident and exited, almost euphoric. I was unable to eat or sleep, i lost
alot of weight, and then very suddenly my mood changed again and i felt very
strong suicidal impulses.
The terrifying side-effects continued and i eventually decided to stop the
medication. I was unaware of the dangers associated with abrupt withdrawal.
Some of the restlessness eased a few days later, but most of the symptoms
remained. I was unable to study anymore, the anxiety was so great, and i had
no concentration. I couldn't feel normal emotions anymore, nor could i think
clearly. A psychiatrist whom i had been referred to suggested that i go to
hospital for a few weeks.....i was unable to function and desperately wanted
help. In hospital i refused any more anti-depressants, i knew that the
damage had been caused by the drugs, and decided to allow time to heal me.

Seven months have now passed since my last SSRI dose and although i am
getting better, the process is very slow. Although the doctors finally
recognised that i had a bad reaction to the SSRI's, they have all dismissed
the idea that for some people they can cause long-term damage. Because of
the reaction, i had to discontinue university. I'd do anything to be the
person i was before i took SSRI's. All i want is to be able to continue at
college, and fulfill my aspirations.... but i am confident that with time i
will get better and hopefully be a stronger person at the end of it.

Hannah

Date: Wed Nov 15, 2000 12:44pm

Charly, thanks very much for your message! I was a member a few months 
ago....so my experience is described under 'SSRI story', under july's 
messages.
I came off celexa about 44 weeks ago after trying 3 other SSRI's over the 
space of three months for what was initially mild depression. I reacted 
badly to all of them and still have many of the symptoms that appeared 
whilst on the antidepressants. I'm gradually getting better, but it's a 
really slow process.
thanks again for your welcome!

Hannah

Date:  Thu Feb 8, 2001 11:30am

Hi Joey, this is Hannah.
My story is posted under the files section. I'm in my
tenth month after discontinuing all SSRI's, and can
relate to the feelings you're describing Bob to be
having.
A few months back,i was so convinced
that i was bad and insane and when i was eventually
hospitalised, i thought i'd never get out and for
the first few weeks, actually decided that i wanted
to remain in hospital for the rest of my life
because i thought that i would always feel the way
that i did. But those thoughts gradually grew less in
intensity and i began to feel my own personality again
and a little more in control of my thoughts. I
constantly needed reassurance that the thoughts and
urges i was experiencing weren't part of my character,
were the result of the medication, and that i wouldn't
act on them. Bob needs to be reassured of this, and to
be told that they will definitaley go but that he
needs to be patient. It also helped me to be
surrounded by positive stimuli,to be constantly
reassured that i wasn't a 'bad'person, that the
thoughts would go and that every moment is a step
closer.
I feel for both of you because i know how painful it
is.....but it does and will get better....I'm
thinking of you both....stay strong, 

Hannah

Date:  Thu Feb 8, 2001 8:13pm

Hi Sherry & everyone else,
I'm actually not a new member, i just havn't posted for a long time!!
It's now been 56 weeks since coming off SSRI's. I was admitted to a 
psychiatric hospital about a month after discontinuing celexa...the 
last SSRI prescribed to me, where i was commenced on a low dose of 
lofepramine, buspar then trazadone. All made my symptoms dramatically 
worse, so i managed to abstain from all meds apart from ativan which 
i still occasionally take, until i was discharged. So overall, it's 
been 45 weeks since since my last dose of any serotonergic drug and i 
think i've made progress :)
I've still got all my symptoms but some are not as intense as what 
they were.
I'm going back to college to study after spending the last year with 
my parents. It's good because i need direction back into my life, and 
to build up my confidence and an identity again.
At times, i'm not so sure as to whether or not i'll be able to study 
at this stage.....but i'll take it a step at a time,
best wishes to everyone,

Hannah